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Top 5 Bend blog predictions for 2010

Everywhere you turn this time of year, you have people making predictions. They are all interesting, but after reading them I have to laugh. One could no sooner hit a mosquito with a bb-gun then predict anything accurately (And in these economic times no less). So it becomes a pathetic guessing game. And with that, here are my simple guesses for 2010. And I am picking on the locals, who I hope realize that all this snark is a compliment.

best minimum wage job a middle aged guy ever had
This year, our much beloved Duncan McGeary will take a vacation from both Blogging and Work (OMG!?! I know right!). Oddly enough reports start coming in from FoxNews CNN MSNBC reliable news sources that Hell has frozen over. Upon hearing this, Linda and Dunc decide to go take their icy holiday in Hell for a quote “Righteous ice fishing trip dude!” as well as visiting the historic set of  ”Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey”. While there, the happy couple will also learn that the best selling board game in Hell is “The Settlers of Satan” (Say-tawn), where alas, Satan always wins. Never the less, good times had by all!

UtterlyBoring
Jake Ortman will sit down at his desk, boot up his computer, open his favorite web browser, and stumble across a cold and deadly truth. There is no longer any Time to kill. So successful were his “Time Killing” posts, that Time suffered a fatal blow in 2009.  For what should have been several weeks (were Time to still be alive) Jake will find himself in a near anemic stupor. But finally,  Jake will set into motion a new diabolical plan. Being both a Blogger and a fan of  phonetics, he will start off on a horrific killing spree with his series of “Thyme Killing” posts targeting both the spice and the Japanese band.  (Mwhahahahaha!)

BendBubble2
Seeing the failings of the Democrats to do anything worthwhile in two years and having a gift for sensing weakness, BendBubble2′s Paul-Doh shuts down his blog and announces that he is running for Jesus. “I think this is the right time for it.” Paul says when asked about his reasoning “The Dems have been pathetic and Jesus is a deity and political position that I was born for. The prophetic nature of my blog, along with my strategic use of the ‘F’ word, will easily help the transition from blogger savant to savior of souls“. Sadly the campaign poster of an Anglo-Saxon Paul-Doh, with creamy skin, blue eyes, flowing brown hair, and clothed in a blue and white robe while holding two swim-suit clad women under each arm, does nothing to garner support. (Pundits will eventually argue that it actually weakened his message)

HackBend
Jon Abernathy surprisingly rues the day “The Brew Site” was able to supply him with an all-you-can-drink alcoholic beverage buffet. In a drunken haze some time during June and while trying to sober up, he will access his HackBend blog over an unencrypted wireless network at one of the many coffee shops around Bend. The packet containing his username and password will be garnished by a 15 year old taking a break from an eighteen hour WoW marathon. The teen will then proceed to hack “HackBend” leaving the message “You’ve been h@x0r’d!!! All your base are belong to us!on the index page of HackBend’s site. Oh the irony!

My Back Pages
After seeing Avatar in 3D, Jesse Felder makes a bullish move and goes long on Pandora. “I believe that the unobtanium stock pile that exists beneath the surface of Pandora is where the market is headed” Jesse will state on record. He will then go on to research the world of Pandora, even going as far as calling James Cameron to ask for insider tips on when “The Company” will IPO and release their market shattering quarterly. James’ people will eventually leave a brief voicemail message that states “Dude, we realize that the movie contains ground breaking CGI and sweet 3D cinematography leading to the very edge of realism, but thats all it was, a movie.”

Congrats to everyone who made it in the Top 5 this year, and a happy holidays to all!

-peace

You will never own Real Estate

Its ok, I was there too. For a long time, I hoped and schemed that I could own a home with some property some day. But after spending a exorbinate amount of time (some may even call it obsessing) researching Real Estate, I know that it is an impossible dream. And I see the world, and especially the United States of America very, very differently.
“Bah” you say “I own my home! And I am damn proud of it!”
And to this response, I would argue that there is already a profusion of subterfuge about the very definition. So first we have to quantify what home ownership actually is.
Is home ownership an interest only loan, where the borrower takes out a  125% LTV suckers loan? On their dream property, in order to not have to put anything down?
Is home ownership a 30 year fixed rate mortgage. With the stabibilty in knowing what your monthly is never going to change over the life of the loan?
Or is home ownership when you finally pay of the mortgage, and you owe nothing more to the lender?
(I realize that there are many other financial instruments that we could list concerning housing. But for the sake of argument, I believe that these three represent a solid scale on which to reflect.)
So back to the question at hand. Which of these represent the term “Home Ownership”?
Now the first one is fairly easy to rule out these days. Most everyone has seen these loans explode and so lets just scratch it off the list.
The second one, is probably what the American populace would define as home ownership. But for now, everyone who is reading should be realizing that when you take out a loan on a home, it is actually the bank’s and not yours. So scratch number two.
At this point, most folks would settle on the definition of home ownership. Which is when you own the deed/note flat out, owing nothing to any lender. But if that were the case, then this post would be over. And my take is that most people forget about one very important aspect.
Taxes.
Yeah, good ol’ taxes. And here is where I reason that you never truly own your home. That at any point, the goverment can come and weasel your property away from you. And don’t give me the I have rights bull crap. This only goes as far as the illusion’s need. And if the need is great enough, the illusion falls right along with your rights. It is also my belief that the government is going to do whatever it can to increase taxes over the next decade (just the next decade?). I mean, face it, our nation is broke. We owe a crap load, to a lot of people.
But the land, the land is the real value!
Heh, right, the land. Is it on anything of value that can be sold on the world stage? If not, then I really don’t want the “value”. Especially the taxes that come with it.
So what I have been doing personally is realigning my goals. Understanding that a home, in an of itself, is a depreciating asset at best. And at worst, a depreciating liability when the note is held by a lender. At some point, you will have to invest your reserves into either fixing and maintaining, or all together rebuilding the home (disturbingly similar to a car, no?). And I do not want to be owned by my things. I will not sacrafice myself and my families’ opporutnites in order to make the pipe dream of home ownership into a ball and chain reality.

Its ok, I was there too. For a long time, I hoped and schemed that I could own a home with some property some day. But after spending a exorbinate amount of time (some may even call it obsessing) researching Real Estate, I know that it is an impossible dream. And I see the world, and especially the United States of America very, very differently.

Bah” you say “I own my home! And I am damn proud of it!

And to this response, I would argue that there is already a profusion of subterfuge about the very definition. So first we have to quantify what home ownership actually is.

  1. Is home ownership an interest only loan, where the borrower takes out a  125% LTV suckers loan in order to not have to put any cash down? (On their dream property of course)
  2. Is home ownership a 30 year fixed rate mortgage. With the stability in knowing what your monthly is never going to change over the life of the loan?
  3. Or is home ownership when you finally pay of the mortgage, and you owe nothing more to the lender?

(I realize that there are many other financial instruments that we could list concerning housing. But for the sake of argument, I believe that these three represent a solid scale on which to reflect)

So back to the question at hand. Which of these best represent the term “Home Ownership”?

Now the first one is fairly easy to rule out these days. Most everyone reading this has seen these loans explode. Either by watching family or friends, or experiencing it themselves. And so lets just scratch it off the list.

The second one, is probably what the American populace would define as home ownership. But for now, everyone who is reading needs to understand that when you take out a loan on a home, it is actually the bank’s and not yours. So scratch number two.

At this point, most folks would settle on the definition of home ownership. Which is when you own the deed flat out, owing nothing to any lender. But if that were the case, then this post would be over. And my take is that most people forget about one very important aspect.

Taxes.

Yeah, good ol’ taxes.

And with taxes in mind, here is where I reason that you never truly own your home. That at any point, the goverment can and will come and weasel your property away from you. And don’t give me the I have rights bull crap. These illusionary rights only go as far as their (the government’s) need. And if the need is great, the illusion falls right along with your rights.

But the land, even despite the taxes, the land is the real value!

Heh, right, the land. Is it on anything of value that can be sold on the world stage? If not, then I really don’t want the “value”. Especially the taxes that come with it. It is also my belief that the government is going to do whatever it can to increase taxes over the next decade (just the next decade?). I mean, face it, our nation is broke. We owe a crap load, to a lot of people.

But don’t worry, it is nothing to be afraid of, you just need to understand it. Once you realize that with most current home purchases you are only buying the “right” to further taxation, you are good.

I mean, think of it this way. Do you think I sat there after my brother died thinking

“Man, I am glad that Jaye got to see our new place before he passed away!”

Hell no!!!

I was happy that we had the money to make memories with him by going on trips and other awesome adventures through out his life.

And so the target must be ”buying” a home when it becomes less expensive than renting while projecting future tax increases into the model. Along with the understanding that a home, in an of itself, is a depreciating asset at best. And at worst, a depreciating liability when the note is held by a lender. At some point, you will have to invest your reserves into either fixing and maintaining, or all together rebuilding the home (disturbingly similar to a car, no?). And even with this, you must know emotionally that it will never be truly yours. And this is a good thing.

I personally do not want to be owned by my things. I will not sacrifice myself and my families’ opportunities in order to make the pipe dream of home ownership into a ball and chain reality. I plan on using my surplus cash to MAKE MEMORIES!!! That is the real value.

Despite these current beliefs, I am always open to new ideas. Because you can’t learn something new if you are not willing to listen right? And I appreciate people’s thoughts, even if I don’t always agree. So I would be happy to hear other’s perspective on this. And so I leave you with this.

“Why do you personally want to own a home?”

Bernanke is a joke

This whole financial disaster is just a crock! Hop in the way back machine and travel with me to an age of kool-aid and greed.

Back in 05′ I was just a wee grass hopper, only twenty four years of age. And the world was a hustling and a bustling. Everywhere, people were going a million miles a minute, especially in Bend Oregon.

If you were to ask the people around you what they were running around so much for, the would have answered, “Well, I’m building wealth of course”. And as I have mentioned before on this blog, everyone was chiming the same freaking lines. The most basic of which was “BUY REAL ESTATE”.

“But why?” I would ask.

“Kid, haven’t you heard? Real estate only goes up.” they would all say.

So what does a guy like me do? I research the crap out of the housing market, which leads me to try and understand economics and markets in general (stock, emerging, etc). I realise that things “are not adding up” and soon conclude that we have a serious bubble on our hands. And it will not end well.

Also, I ended up warning my friends (or trying to). But did any of my friends listen to me? Nope. I even went so far as to write a program to scrape housing data from the county website to prove my stupid point. And what do most of my friends face today? Either foreclosures, short sales, or high mortgage payments.

And so I sit with my little munchkin in my arms and wonder. If little ol’ Jared could see what was happening, why couldn’t Ben Bernanke? And I’ll tell you why, because Ben Bernanke is a frickin joke.

Ticket to Ride (City of Bend Edition)

 After a restless night with my two-week-old daughter, I woke up bright and early and ready or not, prepared for the workday. Groggily going through my morning routine, I scalded myself while showering, cut myself whilst shaving, and bit my tongue during breakfast. Wearing both the smile and bloodied toilet paper polka dots of a dutiful husband and new father, I whispered I love you to my still sleeping wife and baby, and then headed out the door.

On our driveway sat our 1990 4runner, body frosted and windows frozen over. Watching my breath freeze before me, I started up the vehicle and began scraping all the windows with an ice scraper I had plucked from the cab. Satisfied that I could see clearly through the windshield and with the cold seeping into my bones, I hopped in the vehicle and headed towards work.

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Copyright © Jared Folkins
Programming, Computers, Writing, Economics, and Life

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